


I Do I Do

by SquiggyGirl



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29358138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquiggyGirl/pseuds/SquiggyGirl
Summary: This is set in the California years - I think season 6. They end up at a party where there are people smoking weed.  In the show Lenny & Squiggy unfortunately breathe it in when they go into a room asking for Mary Jane (not realizing it's weed - they thought it was a girl) so people blow smoke I their faces.  The girls end up eating weed laced edibles and almost marry these 2 rock stars. Well in MY version they never meet those stars but still end up marrying somebody....  The next day wake up in their hotel rooms and recount what happened...They get invited to the party by Rhonda...
Relationships: Carmine Ragusa/Rhonda Lee, Laverne DeFazio & Lenny Kosnowski, Shirley Feeney/Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Lenny Kosnowski awoke with a brutal headache. He groaned and put his hands to his head bit he noticed he wasn't alone.

"What the hell happened last night?" He muttered aloud.

The body next to him stirred and mumbled a few things 

Lenny gulped hard .. the person in bed with him was the woman of his dreams. Laverne DeFazio.

"L-Laverne?". He said and gently shook her.

"Not now Shirl, I'm having an amazing dream" she replied. She had no clue the person in bed with her was Lenny.

"Um Laverne....it's not Shirley...". He said.

Lavernes eyes flew open and she sat up in bed, her breasts exposed.

Lenny blushed 

"What's up Len,. I've never seen you blush like that"

"You've never shown me your breasts before". He replied.

Laverne looked down and lifted the sheets.

"Why am I naked in bed with you Len?" She asked.

He lifted the sheets as well. "I-im naked too Laverne."

What the hell went on last night?". Laverne asked 

Lenny didn't get a to answer as they heard a piercing scream.

"Shirley?". Said Lenny and Laverne.

Shirley, followed by Squiggy ran into Lenny and Lavernes adjoining room. Shirley had the blanket wrapped around her and Squiggy had a pillow in front of his private area.....

"What the hell happened why am I naked in bed with Squiggy of all people"

"I resent that. Why are you so grossed out!"

"Squiggy you're standing in front of us practically naked - can you please at least put on a shirt! Lenny said and tossed him one of his t-shirts. Squiggy let go of his pillow and caught the t-shirt 

Laverne and Shirley exchanged glances. "Woa squig.. you don't have to flash us... But very nice!!". Laverne said.


	2. Chapter 2

Squiggy blushed. He went back to the adjoining room and put the shirt on and went back to the others.

"Any clue what happened last night?". He asked.

Shirley audibly gasped suddenly. "Why am I wearing a ring on my RING finger?". 

"Why does Lenny have "Just Married written across his back?" Squiggy asked.

The 4 of them exchanged glances. They all had wedding rings on. The boys had "Just married" across their backs. Laverne had "Mrs Kosnowski" across her back and Shirley had "Mrs Squiggman" across hers.

"Did we get drunk enough to go to Vegas and get married?" Lenny asked.

There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it". Lenny asked.

"Rhonda'. She said.

They scrambled to put clothes on and let her in. She was not happy.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"What happened Rhonda? We have no clue!"

"Aside from doing a striptease in front of everyone at the party you found your way to Vegas to get married... Then well I don't know what you did in these beds but judging by your outfits you probably slept together!". She said.

"S-striptease?". Whispered Shirley. She thought of how she almost did that when she hit her head and thought she was Roxy Latour.

Rhonda nodded. "All 4 of you."

The 4 of them exchanged glances and looked at Rhonda.

"I-i dunno what to say.". Lenny began.

"You 4 certainly have everyone an eyeful!". Rhonda said putting her hands on her hips angrily.

There was a knock on the door.  
"Who is it?" Laverne asked.

"Carmine". He replied.

"Ohmigod". The boys wanted to hide 

Rhonda let him in. He was speechless. He took a breath and looked at Shirley. "How could you?" 

"Aside from what Rhonda told us about stripping at the party we have no idea what happened"

"You and Squiggy in the closet!" He said.

"Lotsa people go into the closet to make out". Shirley said trying to make a joke.

"Shirl,. You weren't just making out! Squiggy when you get involved like THAT you need to tone it down.". He said.

Shirley and Squiggy exchanged glances. They had sex at the party in the closet.

"Who put us up to it. I mean - neither of us should have chosen each other as our firsts". Squiggy said. Then he blushed again and covered his mouth with his hand.

'D-did I just say that?". He said. 

"Ya you did but really I was your first?'. Shirley asked.

He nodded. "Yea. I-i lied all these years. I mean I've always wanted to with you Shirl, but not as my first only because I ih wanted to be more experienced". He said.

Shirley went over to him and kissed him passionately.

"Shirley!". Carmine exclaimed.

Shirley shrugged. He's a good kisser. Gentle...

Squiggy blushed. "Thanks"

Carmine stormed out of the room angrily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a little out of character for them but I liked that episode and wanted to build on it - next chapter I'll have a flashback to recount what happened. 
> 
> (Sadly my lunch break is over so I cannot continue til after work). 
> 
> What happens when Edna & Frank find out about it.. .


	3. Chapter 3

Laverne looked at Lenny. "I-if they had sex in the closet... do you think that you and I did it?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I-I have no clue Laverne. I don't remember anything. Well I remember Squig and me going into that room at the party looking for Mary Jane only to have people blow smoke at us."

Suddenly Laverne gasped. "Mary Jane..." she said aloud.

"We didn't find her" Squiggy said.

"It is another word for Weed, marijuana... grass..." Laverne said and looked at Shirley. "We were stoned out of our minds..."

"We didn't smoke anything nor did we go into that room Laverne."

"No but we had brownies..."

"Oh goodness." Shirley said and looked at Squiggy. "A drug induced first-time-ever sexual experience with Andrew Squiggman"

"Thanks a lot Shirl." Squiggy said.

"Squig, I never said it was bad." she told him and gave him a smile.

He sighed. "What if... " he said and looked at Lenny. "I don't think we used um condoms given our um situation."

The girls exchanged looks. 

"What do you remember Len?" Laverne asked.

He took a deep breath and looked at her. "We slept together Laverne. And uh you also slept with Squiggy. In fact it was a Threesome." 

Things were beginning to come back... Aside from the striptease at the party and Shirley and Squiggy in the closet. anything else sexual took place in the hotel room. In their haze they had demanded Carmine & Rhonda take them to vegas to get married which they did. That was why both were so angry with them. But what happened in the hotel rooms there after was a blur to the four of them. Lenny & Laverne were together as were Shirley and Squiggy. Evidently at some point they swapped partners as well but that morning when they woke up Lenny & Laverne and Shirley and Squiggy were in bed with each other without any clothing what so ever on. 

There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Rhonda and Carmine"

"Come in"

They entered the room and they stood with their arms crossed. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Laverne asked.

"To be told what you four did last night." Rhonda said 

The four of them nodded. "Yea we're ready.... tell us what went on at that party last night..." Lenny said.  
"Ok... here goes...." Carmine began.

_"What are these?" asked Laverne looking at the treats on the table._  
_"I think they are brownies." Shirley said and took a bite. "Taste's weird."_  
_Lenny and Squiggy enter the room and a random guy approaches them. "Want some Mary Jane, you can go into that room." the guy said. He then giggled._  
_"Mary Jane, I never heard of her." Squiggy laughed and he and Lenny went into the room._  
_"Where's Mary Jane?" asked Squiggy_  
_A random guy blew smoke into his face. and thereafter every time the boys asked for Mary Jane all they got for their trouble was a puff in the face._  
_Ten minutes later they left the room laughing and they approached the girls._  
_"We never found Mary Jane" Lenny said._  
_"Have you guys been drinkin'"asked Laverne._  
_"Not yet. it was too smoky in that room to even think straight" Squiggy said laughing._  
_"Did ya try one of these cookies?" Shirley asked laughing._  
_"Have YOU been drinkin' Shirl?" you're um comin' out of that blouse" Squiggy said._  
_She looked down and sure enough her blouse was unbuttoned to the point where her bra was showing."_  
_"Hey Laverne, let's give these boys a show" Shirley said._  
_"Shirley what are you talking about?"_  
_"Her inner Roxy is coming out." Lenny said and watched as Shirley started taking it off.._  
_Nobody else at the party really was paying much attention as they were either high on the weed or on the edibles._  
_Laverne joined in with Shirley and the strip show and the girls were giving the boys something to remember._  
_"How about you boys show us whatcha got?" Laverne said as she twirrled her bra and danced right up to Lenny._  
_The boys shrugged and joined the girls with their dancing and soon they were half naked/ Shirley grabbed Squiggy and dragged him into the closet._  
_"Heya Andrew, show me what you can doooo" she said with a sultry look._  
_Squiggy gulped hard and followed her into the closet where they made out and evidently did more that two friends would usually do._  
_"Squiggy and Shirley are gettin' lucky" Laverne pouted._  
_Lenny looked at the woman of his dreams, and all inhibitions gone he looked at her. "Let's make a baby."_  
_Lenny and Laverne sneaked off into a corner and well let nature take its course....._  
_Rhonda, who although had invited them, hadn't yet arrived and was absolutely astonished at what she saw when she and Carmine entered._  
_"Lenny and Laverne are naked" she said to Carmine and hid her face in her hands._  
_"Where are Shirley and Squiggy?" Carmine said and headed to the closet to hang up his jacket. He quickly shut it again. "I uh found them. I got a glimpse of something i uh really didn't ever want to see"_  
_Rhonda shut down the party right there and sent everyone home. She and Carmine sat Lenny, Laverne, Shirley and Squiggy on the couch and glared at them speachless._  
_"What the hell were you thinking"_  
_"Take us to vegas to get married" Lenny said._  
_"Pardon?"_  
_"Take us to vegas, we wanna get married" Lenny said._  
_After arguing back and forth with them Rhonda and Carmine told them to shut up. "Just let us discuss this ok guys" Rhonda told them._  
_"We gotta trick them. They are so high they'll never know. Let's just pretend they got married. Write on their backs and get fake wedding rings and well this is a hotel room with an adjoining room. They are already naked, lets throw them in the beds and well they'll think they're in Vegas..."_

"So we ain't really married?" Lenny said.  
"No you ain't and you ain't actually in Vegas either." Carmine said.  
"I am so embarrassed." Squiggy said and hung his head.  
The others all nodded in agreement. "it was that Mary Jane stuff that did it."  
"Do you have any idea at all how close you came to being arrested for indecent exposure?" Rhonda asked.  
"What?" 

"OH ya. The cops were called..." Carmine said. 

"OH gawd" Lenny said. 

"But we saved your butts" Rhonda told them. "We managed to put you in the 'Mary Jane' room which had cleared out by then. We covered you up so it wasn't suspicious. Just four people sleeping off a drunken haze" 

"I'm never gonna live this down." Shirley said. 

"Luckily Pop didn't come by" Laverne said. 

Carmine and Rhonda looked at each other. 

Laverne looked a little shaken. "What?" 

"Edna was there... She um was there during your striptease. I'm sure she told your  
Pop." said Carmine. 


	4. Chapter 4

Lenny stared at Rhonda. "Edna was there during the s-striptease...ummmm. No please tell me that's not true."

Irate banging was heard just then. Loud curses in Italian followed.

"I'm a dead man" Lenny said.

"LAVERNE OPEN UP" bellowed Frank.

Pasting on a fake smile. "Come in Pop" she said.

Frank entered and looked at them all in utter shock. "Laverne - I - I " he sputtered.

"It wasn't my fault pop" he said.

"'It wasn't your fault'. You got all doped up and with your three friends here put on a striptease?" Frank said.

"We didn't know the food was spiked with weed pop."

"What are you two's excuses." Frank looked at the boys.

"We was lookin' for Mary Jane and all they did was blow smoke at us" Squiggy said.

"Mary Jane is another word for marijuana!" Frank said. 

"We didn't know that" Lenny said.

"You two - in the closet.... and YOU two in the corner. I thought I know you girls better than that!" he said and looked at them. "Do you realize that Edna is too embarrassed to even come to talk to you?"

"How do you think we feel?" Laverne said. "I mean she is MY step mother!"

"I'm just disappointed in you girls." Frank said.

"Mr. DeFazio, with all due respect. May I ask you a question. Are you disappointed in the girls because they had sex or that they had sex with Lenny and Squiggy?" Carmine asked.

Frank didn't answer.

They all knew the truth though. 

"Pop. It may not have been an ideal way to lose our virginity - no but it was actually special regardless because we did it with friends. People we've known all our lives and we trust. The boys may not always be the best of influences but they are friends and well I happen to be in love with Lenny." Laverne said and looked from Frank to Lenny. "I'm completely free of my buzz now so this is ME talking."

"Me to." Shirley piped up. "NO heh I'm not in love with Lenny but I have definite feelings for Andrew here."   
"I love it when you call me Andrew" Squiggy said and blushed a little.

"And you boys what do YOU have to say for yourselves?"

Lenny looked from Laverne to Frank. "I do love her. I've loved Laverne since we were kids. She makes me feel special. To lose my virginity to her was special even though we were in a drug induced stupor. I still want to love her more."

Squiggy hesitated. "I aint good with feelings but um... I felt something special with you Shirley. I mean it may not have been ideal our first time in the closet like that, but I definitely felt something going on."

Shirley whispered something in his ear to which he blushed quite red. "OH my" he said.

"What about possible pregnancy?" Frank asked.

"We will have to go to the doctor to get checked out and um if we are or if one of us is. We'll have to have a DNA test to determine the father." Laverne said.

Frank looked at his daughter. "What are you saying..." he began. "Are you saying that you and Squiggy...?"

Both Shirley and Laverne nodded. "Not that we're gonna share details but ya we kinda swapped partners at one point."

Frank shook his head. "You four ought to be ashamed of yourselves!" he said and left the room.

Rhonda and Carmine exchanged looks. "I hope you learned your lesson." Carmine said.

Laverne looked from Rhonda to Carmine and then to her 3 other friends. "We weren't the only ones who were influenced by the weed nor we were the only ones to humiliate ourselves at that party....

Rhonda and Carmine exchanged looks and stared open mouthed at the others.......

TBC.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens..... I'm going to leave this story for a day or so (I dunno maybe I'll come back to it sooner..... I have to think of what secret those 2 have been hiding...)


	5. Chapter 5

Carmine and Rhonda looked at each other. "What are you talking about? We arrived later than planned to the party." Rhonda said her hands on her hips.

Lenny looked at Laverne who nodded. "NO you didn't" she said. "We saw both of you there earlier."

"Wha..?" Carmine said.

"Dontcha think you can get outta this one Carmine." Squiggy told him.

"Ok tell us what happened then. What did WE do?"

"We arrived at the party and the boys arrived later. They were seeking out _Mary Jane_ and although never found HER found themselves getting high on weed by breathing it in. We were indulging in the brownies...

_"Hey Shirl, is that Carmine?" Laverne said and pointed._  
_Shirley gasped. "Carmine?" she whispered._  
_Carmine was dancing provocatively grinding against Rhonda._  
_"I think they have been either havin' the brownies or lookin' for Mary Jane just like the boys!" Laverne said and looked at the way Carmine and Rhonda were dancing._  
_"Um Rhonda is disrobing" Shirley said and covered her face with her hands._  
_"As is Carmine. Don't they realize just how public this is?"_  
_Suddenly a very high Lenny and Squiggy came out of the Mary Jane room and looked at the girls."Whaz up girls whatcha lookin so weird for?_  
_"Carmine and Rhonda." Laverne said and pointed._  
_Carmine was down to his underwear and Rhonda to her bra and panties._  
_Lenny & Squiggy **both** bit their hands. _  
_"We gotta stop them!" said Shirley before they get completely naked. I mean somebody's gotta notice!"_  
_"Everyone is too high to notice" replied Laverne._  
_"We better knock some sense into them!" Shirley said. "this can ruin both their careers!"_  
_Laverne and Shirley approached Carmine and Rhonda. "Carmine, Rhonda, show's over" Laverne said._  
_"What?" Carmine asked._  
_"Your little striptease. Better stop now before you could get arrested for indecent exposure."_  
_Snapping out of their haze, Carmine and Rhonda looked down and then at each other. "OHMIGOD"_  
_The two of them gathered up their clothes and ran to the bathroom to get redressed._  
_"Whadja do that for." Squiggy complained._  
_"Squig, we had to stop them before it got totally out of control." Laverne told him._  
_"But Rhonda..." whined Lenny_  
_"I thought it was me you wanted Lenny.. "Laverne said and thats when **their** ordeal began as the weed was starting to affect their inhibitions._

"So what you four actually got naked we didn't" Carmine said. Rhonda looked at him. "I hate to have to break it to you Carmine, but you did."

"What?"

"In the bathroom before we got dressed we jumped into the tub and well we got a little more frisky than intended."

Carmine blushed. "Oh. But not in front of everyone at the party."

"That's true. That's where they topped us."

"Well lets just keep this among ourselves shall we"

"We never did see Rhonda's breasts" Squiggy said. Then realizing he said it out loud he quickly covered his mouth with his hand. "Sorry just um slipped out."

Shirley looked at him and shook her head. "You never stop do you Andrew"

"Now you're calling me Andrew? You only do that when either you want my body or when you're mad at me."

Shirley gave him a look that would melt glass and stomped out of the room.

"She's mad at you Squig." Lenny said. "I for one am in love with Laverne. Although Rhonda is a beauty, I want to make the earth shake with Laverne.

Squiggy followed Shirley in order to make it up to her. "I'm sorry Shirley I'm very sorry! It slipped out. I don't have my hormones in control yet. I love you very much and would never let any other woman get in the way"

Shirley whirled to him. "What did you say??"

"Uh I said I loved you." he replied.

Shirley looked at him, saw the anguish that showed in his eyes - he knew that saying what he did about Rhonda hurt Shirley and he knew that he was truly in love with her... Shirley could tell when Andrew Squiggman was telling the truthe and when he was just blowin' smoke and lying.

"If you love me - prove it." She said and took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom.

He swallowed hard and about 10 minutes later the others, sitting in the living room heard lots of noise from the bedroom.

"Ok, it's time to say good bye" Carmine said and he and Rhonda left. Lenny and Laverne left too and disappeared into Lenny's apartment. 

For two weeks after that encounter, Squiggy had a hard time walking......


End file.
